Sex and power

Can sex help you be more powerful in life?

sex and powerThere are a lot of sexy things in the world, but power is super sexy. Stop and think about it. How turned on do you feel when you encounter your own power or the power of someone else?

Power is a turn on, right?

I think power is so sexy because it gives us access to pleasure. And pleasure is really good for our minds and bodies. It means we can soften into the healing realm of our nervous system and play, grow, digest and love each other more.

How is your relationship to power?

If your relationship to power is fearful or underdeveloped it will show up in your sexuality. How do you know? You won’t get turned on by power. You won’t fantasize about it or enjoy the normal, healthy power dynamics of sexual relationships. Your relationship to power in the bedroom is showing you how you relate to power in your life. What do you see there?

Regardless of where you’re at, the good news is that sex can improve your relationship to power. This begins in the realm of imagination and fantasy. Your new relationship with power must start there. This is known as sexual alchemy. Sexual alchemy refers to focusing on what you want at the moment of orgasm and letting the orgasm move your desire out into the universe. But what I’ve found is that this alchemy is present before, during and after orgasm. In fact, we have the power to transform our lives every time we’re turned on.

We hear the word “empowered” a lot these days, and yet we hear the word “power” and it has a negative connotation. But being empowered simply means finding a healthy relationship with YOUR power. By focusing on your power or your partner’s power during sex, you are connecting with the energy of power and giving it space to manifest in your life. Many people are afraid of the intensity of power, and the associated images, but there’s no reason to shy away from them. Power is key to creating the life you want. And fantasy is the breeding ground of that creation.

What have you fantasized about that eventually became reality?

Sexual energy is nothing more than potent creative energy. So sexuality is the realm of creative potential for anything you want to experience. If you can discover more power in your sexual fantasies and experiences, than you can discover more power in your life. And the more you understand power, the more you can take responsibility for your life, emotions, and your orgasm.

Your power is sexy, isn’t it? Now take it deeper. You’re much more powerful than you realize.

to your super sexy power,

Lauren Brim
Sexual and Spiritual Coach

About the author

Lauren Brim, Ph.D is a doctor of human sexuality, sex coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, The New American Family, The New Rules of Sex Workbook, and Your Boyfriend's Hooker. She provides sexual health and coaching resources for women wanting to create the life or love life that they desire at Lauren has worked in the healing arts for over a decade and began to specialize in women's health after training to be a midwife. She is also the founder at She lives in Los Angeles with her daughter.

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